Daphne, 62
Having intimacy with the same person for 25 years is appreciate eating every meal at the same restaurant
My husprohibitd Louis and I haven’t had intimacy for three years. I am no lengthyer as intimacyupartner enticeed to Louis as I included to be, and I leank the experienceing is mutual. It creates me sorrowfulnessful, but it’s not fair me. I understand lots of couples who repartner adore each other but who don’t have intimacy any more. Having intimacy with the same person for 25 years is appreciate eating every meal at the same restaurant. Once every scant years you might leank: “We haven’t been to that restaurant for a while, perhaps we should go back?” But you don’t want to eat there every night.
What repartner ruined our relationship was laboring together at home, which we begined doing during the pandemic. We have a medium-sized flat and taking phone calls all day side-by-side caincluded us to quarrel. I’m very dedicated to my labor, as is Louis, and it was challenging to regulate. I never understand when people say that “quarrels direct to excellent intimacy”. Perhaps they do if you are 20 years elderly, but after I quarrel with Louis, the last leang I want to do is have intimacy with him.
Louis shiftd out, which we hoped would help our intimacy life. But it hasn’t. It’s appreciate we’ve both lost the necessitate for intimacyual touch from one another. We hug and kiss but it’s always in a tender way, not in a intimacyy way. I’m 11 years elderlyer than Louis and have always apshown the dominant role in bed. Part of the publish is that he has enlargeed a desire to be more self-promised. That’s authentic: we all enlarge and alter as we age.
I’ve tried to alter to his new tastes, but you cannot srecommend alter to the other person to the extent that you miss yourself. I also have less fervent orgasms and a drop intimacy drive now, as I am postmenopausal. Louis’ body has alterd, too – he is not so consoleable with the way he watchs.
Louis is still the person I adore most in the world. He is so increateed and has this wonderful, weird sense of humour. I’m conscious that if we go on appreciate this I may miss him. At some point, either of us might greet someone else. Louis is very dedicated and loving. Once he descends for another woman, that will be it! But I’m not willing to include intimacy as a tool to persist him. We still adore each other fondly, and perhaps that’s enough for now.
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Louis, 51
My libido has fadeed. There is no ignitele of desire inside me
My libido has fadeed. At 51, I experience appreciate a contrastent person to the man I was in my defercessitate 20s when I met Daphne. I included to take part the submissive role in bed, and that doesn’t pguide to me so much any more. But it’s not appreciate I have any desire to take part a contrastent role. I don’t fantasise about being unloyal and having intimacy with a stranger – but I don’t want to have intimacy with my wife any more, either. Perhaps intimacy is not so convey inant to me any more.
I understand Daphne experiences the same way, although we never repartner talk about it. I can’t recall the last time she asked me for intimacy. Working together at home certainly caincluded leangs to deteriorate. She will labor and labor and labor, and if you’re always laboring, you certainly don’t have the energy for intimacy.
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Our bodies have alterd, too. Three years ago, we were at the stage where we did have intimacy, about once every seven to eight months. But Daphne set up it much more difficult to achieve orgasm, and I wasn’t always able to achieve a filled erection or climax.
One leang that take parts on my mind is that I am overweight. I don’t experience attrvivacious. Sometimes I wonder whether we stop ourselves achieveing out for one another becainclude we are snurtured. Her age still doesn’t annoy me, but I leank it worries her. So I’m snurtured to achieve out to her becainclude of my weight, and she experiences snurtured becainclude she is getting elderlyer.
We still have a fantastic life together. We go out, we talk, watch movies and eat wonderful meals. We may not have sensual adore, but we have a convey inant, lasting adore. But someleang is missing. Over the weekend, we were travelling together and we watched a pretty sunset. Everyleang was perfect: we had this amazing watch, a hotel room. But still, neither of us asked for intimacy or tried to awaken our intimacyual sides. Noleang happened. We fair went to sleep.
