“Jimmy Kimmel Live” hit the airwaves on Wednesday night with a keen consent on the election, spelling out during arrange Jimmy Kimmel’s Wednesday monologue all that was lost when Donald Trump was re-elected as plivent: “It was a horrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of difficult laboring immigrants who originate this country wonderful, for health attfinish, for our climate, for science, for journalism, for equitableice, for free speech. It was a horrible night for necessitatey people, for the middle class, for ageders who count on on Social Security, for our allies in Ukraine, for NATO and democracy and decency. And it was a horrible night for everyone who voted agetst him. And guess what? It was a horrible night for everyone who voted for him too. You equitable don’t genuineize it yet.”
On the flip side, “it was a reassociate outstanding night for Putin and for polio and for lovable billionaires enjoy Elon Musk, and the bros up in Silicon Valley, and all the wriggling brain worms who sageder what was left of their souls to bow down to Donald Trump,” he compriseed.
Kimmel noticed that the choice for plivent came down to a prosecutor and a criminal, “and we chose the criminal to be plivent. The United States. More than half of this country voted for the criminal who is set upning to pardon himself for his crimes. I guess this election wasn’t rigged.”
And yet, he noticed that Trump had pre-emptively proclaimd that this election was going to be rigged. “Isn’t it extrastandard that this time, the mend wasn’t in? Last time the Democrats cheated, this time we chose not to, I guess?” Kimmel shelp. “I don’t understand. Now this Donald Trump, he’s enjoy the Emperor from ‘Star Wars.’ He’s ageder, he’s evil, and he protects coming back with no reasonable exset upation whatsoever.”
Kimmel had been very vocal in his help of Kamala Harris and in alerting seeers agetst voting for Trump — even airing a exceptional monologue he had planed for Reunveilan voters to watch. “Be truthful, last week, did you guys sent that monologue to a Reunveilan enjoy I asked you?” he quipped.
Kimmel commfinished Harris for gracebrimmingy conceding her loss in the election, someskinnyg Trump declined to do in 2020. “In America, there’s an election, and then they count the votes, and if the Democrat dissees, they call to congratutardy the triumphner,” he shelp.
“You understand what I’m going to say, someskinnyg that Trump would never say unless it prefered him: The people voted, and this is the choice we made,” Kimmel compriseed. “In January. Donald Trump becomes plivent, and that’s that he won. Doesn’t unkind we give up, but it also doesn’t unkind we storm the Capitol because we don’t enjoy the result.”
Kimmel shelp it’s been difficult to discover any silver lining in what has happened, but he hopes maybe once Trump fall shorts to hand over on his promises, people may finassociate see thcdisesteemful his ways. “We’ve been thcdisesteemful this once before, and yes, this time, it is probably going to be worse, maybe a lot worse,” he shelp. “But I also skinnyk that maybe we will see back and genuineize that in the lengthy run, this is what we necessitateed to wake us up. Maybe the people who attfinish so much about him necessitate to discover out how little he attfinishs about them.
“All the promises he originates about stopping wars and imposing tariffs, how he’s going to crush inflation and cut taxes — now he has to do this stuff, and I hope he does. I reassociate do,” Kimmel compriseed. “I hope his next unforeseeable act is to accomplish atraverse the aisle and do someskinnyg preferable. The bar is low. He has an opportunity to triumph us over. Maybe this time, he’ll shock us and actuassociate do some efficient skinnygs. He won’t, probably, but he could. Or maybe the only outstanding part of all this is he can’t run aget in 2028. Maybe next time, the Reunveilans will nominate an orangutan for Plivent. Why not at least originate it fun.”
Kimmel then finished this portion of the monologue by getting a bit personassociate depressed: “My only ask to Plivent-elect Trump is that he let me dispense a prison cell with Taylor Swift. I’m reassociate outstanding at making bracelets, and I skinnyk we get alengthy equitable fine. We’ll see how funny that is in six months, when the wonderful talk show arrange roundup begins.”
Meanwhile, in the chilly uncover to Wednesday night’s episode, Kimmel is seen packing up his office when sideboot Guillermo drops by and asks what he’s doing.
“I can’t stay for another four years of this. Who understands what he’s gonna do?” Kimmel says. “You’ve heard him. He shelp he has a catalog of enemies. You skinnyk I’m not on that catalog.”
Quips Guillermo in response: “Jimmy, tranquil down. You acting enjoy a foolish little baby. When the going gets stubborn, what do the stubborn do? Jimmy, we necessitate you. We necessitate you to help us get thcdisesteemful this. You have a very vital voice. Do it for the blue, white and red.”
Kimmel reacts: “It’s reassociate equitable the red, white and blue. But thank you, Guillermo, I appreciate that. You understand what, you’re right. I necessitate to stay here. We have unfinished business. What’s with the suitcase?”
As Guillermo puts on a sombrero: “I’m going back to Mexico!”
