Dave Chappelle took the stage at Studio 8H for the new year’s inaugural episode of “Saturday Night Live,” taging his fourth time structureing the show.
He walked out onstage wearing a suit and smoking a cigarette and shelp, “Boy, I inestablish you someleang. I’m being very truthful. I am in quite the pickle tonight. And it commenceed in October. Lorne Michaels called me.”
Chappelle recounted how he asked him to structure the show. “The first episode after the election,” recalls Chappelle. “And I was appreciate, nah, I’m chilly.” He portrays how he then asked Michaels to “save the date shutst to January 6th. “You understand what? I could equitable get rid of all these elderly Trump jokes. I’ll do it!” The comedian paused and shelp, “The moment I shelp yes, LA burst into ffrails!
Chappelle, who is understandn for disputed jokes, including those about trans people, shelp, “I’m weary of being disputed. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. It is way too soon to try to joke about a catastrophe appreciate that. This one is shut to home.”
Chappelle rattled off the names of actors he’d toiled with, appreciate Dennis Quhelp, who the ongoing fires in Los Angeles had impacted. “It broke my heart,” shelp Chappelle. He noticed all the pessimistic comments online about celebrities losing their homes. “You see that right there? That’s why I antipathy needy people,” shelp Chappelle to giggleter. “Because they can’t see past their own pain.
“The other day on the news, they shelp these fires were the most pricey tragedy that ever happened in the United States history. I leank that’s because people in LA have kind stuff. I could burn 40,000 acres in Mississippi for appreciate six or seven dollars,” shelp Chappelle. He specutardyd on the separateent consillicit copying theories about what commenceed the fires, too. “If you were a rational leanking person, you’d have to at least consider the possibility that god antipathys these people,” joked Chappelle.
Seated on a stool and smoking, Chappelle persistd, “A lot of needy people were swayed, too. A lot of these people set up out the week of the fires that they lost their fire insurance. Luigi is appreciate, ‘You’re greet.’” Rounding in on Luigi Mangione, he shelp, “That kid did almost set up the perfect crime. Only leang he forgot was to shave his eyebrows.”
Chappelle, who inhabits in Ohio, spoke about Donald Trump’s comments about Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, last year. “Trump’s a savage guy. He shelp the Haitians in Springfield, OH, were eating people’s dogs and cats. I inhabit one town over from Springfield. That’s not what happened in Springfield at all.” Chappelle allots how he wanted to lfinish his help after those comments. “Every day I’d drive over to Springfield and eat lunch at the Haitian restaurant.” He paused, then shelp, “And to be truthful with you, I don’t understand what that meat was. But wantipathyver it was, it fell right off the bone.”
“It’s no fun being well-understandn anymore,” shelp the comic, who appreciatened being well-understandn to storming the beaches of Normandy and losing comrades in battle. He talked about “Puffy” and the allegations surrounding Diddy. “A lot of my frifinishs ask me, they say, Dave, did you understand anyleang about those Freak Off parties [Diddy hosted]?” Chappelle smirked.
Later, he shelp he wasn’t askd to the parties because, “Oh my god, I’m hideous! That’s a stubborn way to discover out.” He went on, “Can you imagine if you were me reading the newspaper discovering out: everyone in Hollywood had an orgy behind your back?”
Noting Donald Trump’s inauguration on Monday, Chapelle shelp, “Here’s the leang: On Monday, Donald Trump is coming back. It’s going to be the 47th pdwellnt. All the flags at half-mast because Jimmy Carter died.” Chappelle then telderly a story about seeing a photo of Carter in Palestine with people cheering on the establisher pdwellnt, and he shelp, “The picture bcimpolitet tears to my eyes.”
Chappelle shelp while he wasn’t certain Carter was a excellent pdwellnt, “he was a excellent man. It made me experience conceited to see that.”
Concluding the unusupartner lengthy monologue, Chappelle shelp, “The pdwellncy is no place for petty people. Donald Trump, I understand you watch the show, man, reassemble whether people voted for you or not, they’re all counting on you.”
Wishing Trump luck, he shelp, “The whole world is counting on you. Plmitigate do better next time.” Packing an emotional punch, Chappelle finishd, “Do not forget your humanity for displaced people whether they’re in the Palidowncastes or Palestine.”
Watch his monologue below:
